At Least I Didn't Bust My Sack During the Game

There are a couple of things particular to the Cincinnati area that cause people to look at you funny when you say the words.

One of them is a "three-way:, which is not a sexual liaison with an extra person, it's just spaghetti topped with chili and cheese.

The other is "corn hole", which is not where you apply the corn cob in the outhouse (we use a Sears catalog) and has no unnatural sexual connotation, it is just a bean bag toss game.

When either of these phrases comes up in conversation among the locals, it causes tourists to titter like adolescent boys. But let's all try to be mature for now and get through the rest of this story.

This past Saturday my neighbor had a birthday party which included a corn hole tournament on the front lawn. The bean bags are tossed underhand and a right-hander pushes off with the right leg, flexing the foot and calf..

So, because I am old and out of shape, my right calf ended up a little sore after the tournament. Since this was beer-in-hand corn hole and we played for about 4 hours, I didn't really notice right away. Sunday and Monday, though, my calf started to really tighten up if I sat for more than 4 minutes or so.

That meant that on Monday, every time I left of my office, I was hobbling like Dr. House. It caused people to inquire what was wrong with me. Naturally, I told them I had spilled a hot Skyline meal on my leg and burned myself.

Why did I say that? Because, even at my advanced maturity level, I would rather say I had an injury from a three-way than say that I was walking funny because of a marathon corn hole session.

Rites of Spring

This being the Lenten season, and Cincinnati having a large Catholic population, it is easier to go out for Skyline on Friday and harder to get into Frisch's for a good fish sandwich.

Back when Lent was invented, did it go like this?

JESUS: Guys, I fed the multitude but I still have a bunch of loaves and fishes. These will become stale and stinky unless we think of something.
PETER: Let's fry up the fish and use the bread to make sandwiches.
JOHN: Perfect! It's Friday, let's bring them to happy hour and wash them down with some beer.
JUDAS: We can sell them and get some gold for the church.
JESUS: Great. Let's do this Friday Fish Fry every week.
PETER: We'll have to leave out the bread at Passover.
JESUS: Right. By the way, I've got some ideas about the Passover Seder supper.

and, of course that was the last supper idea he had.

Passover is coming up in a few days and, since I have nothing new to say about that, like Jesus' leftover fish, I will just recycle the miracles I created before. Here's a few links to the originals:

"A Plague of Roaches" - About marijuana, the Smak Rabbi and Passover

"Fun With Plagues" - about magicians, plagues and Passover - the origins explained.

"Filling our Drawers" - about Tupperware, New York City and Passover