Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Delayed On Hold

on hold.jpg

Recently White House spokesman, Scott McClellan seemed to try to distance the President from Tom Delay, the embattled House Majority Leader. McClellen said that Bush and Delay are friends but that “there are different levels of friendship”. He said that the two are “working friends” not close friends.
Bush then invited Delay aboard Air Force One and to attend a White House event on social security, and said of the Congressman “I appreciate his leadership.” What is the relationship between Bush and Delay? I tried to call Scott McClellan to find out, but I got put on hold:

OPERATOR
You have reached the office of White House spokesperson, Scott McClellan. Mr. McClellan is out at a spinning class, but your call is important to us -- unless you are a member of the liberal press. Please hold and Mr. McClellan will talk to you out of the next available side of his mouth.

MUSAK (YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND)
When your job’s in trouble, and you’re feeling some despair
And the political noose, is getting a little tight
Use my name and mention me, but don’t expect me there
I’m behind you, out of range of the T V lights

Though I call you a friend, I just give it a little spin
We’re not close, we’re
Just working friends

OPERATOR
You have reached the office of White House spokesperson, Scott McClellan. Mr. McClellan is busy dodging calls from Mr. Delay’s office, but your call is important to us -- unless you are a certain Senator who’s name rhymes with Voin-a-bitch. Please hold and Mr. McClellan will deliver you his next available equivocation.

MUSAK (BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER)
When you’re nearing, a big fall
Your ethics are on trial, I’ll hem and haw
I’m on your side, unnnn-til times get tough, and friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge closed for flooding waters, I will let you drown

OPERATOR
You have reached the office of White House spokesperson, Scott McClellan. Mr. McClellan is out at a side-stepping class, but your call is important to us -- unless you are opposed to the culture of life. Please hold and Mr. McClellan will blow you his next available smoke.

MUSAK (DON’T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME)
Delay is the subject
Of ethics scrutiny
And Bush tells the press that
“Tom’s a good friend to me”
But later, in private
Here’s what Bush tells Delay
We’re friends and I like you
But not that special way

Don’t stand, don’t stand so
Don’t stand so close to me…….

At this point I decided to hang up.