F is For the Few Things That You Gave Him

It's June so, according to the card aisle and the gift tip web sites, it is time to celebrate "Dads and Grads". Yeah, we dads have to share the spotlight. Moms don't do that. May is not time for "Moms and Proms". Father's were an afterthought anyway. President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mothers' Day in 1914. President Calvin Coolidge recommended Father's Day as a national holiday in 1924. Not for nothing was he known as "Silent Cal"; no one heard him. It was over 50 years later that "in 1966, President Lyndon Johnson made Father's Day a holiday ... The holiday was not officially recognized until 1972, during the presidency of Richard Nixon." How can I feel good about any domestic policy of Richard Nixon?
Mother's Day is the most popular day for eating out at restaurants. And who pays? (Hint: Not the kids.) What record does Father's Day hold? Most collect calls.
The final insult is that Wikipedia claims that "Schools and other children's programs commonly have activities to make Father's Day gifts." Ha! Remember that part about "Dads and Grads"? Father's Day comes after the school year ends. In May, Dads get to smile and ooh and ahh over the gifts that the kids make in school and bring home to Mom. Come June the kids are home for summer and up early begging Dad to take them somewhere they can spend his money (and making collect calls to do it).
Back in 1972 there was a "generation gap", kids were peace-loving, pot-smoking, lazy-ass hippies and Dad's were the Establishment. Nixon made it an official holiday at a time when children were angry at their parents for making Nixon President in the first place. No wonder the holiday has never really caught on.

Father's Day = He Farts Day

Check out Dorky Dad from Humor-Blogs.