Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Give Me Money (UPDATED)

For Blog Action Day I agreed to blog about poverty. Their site has some suggested topics for different types of blogs; they did not include humor blogs. I don’t know if they want people like me participating.
I’ve written entries before about being poor but I would suck at being impoverished. I have no idea how to do it. I’ve never been in poverty, as far as I know. I say that because I know we didn’t have much money when I was growing up, but my mother always had a job and my sister and I always had food, clothes a house, TV. I never had to steal a loaf of bread to feed the family, though I did once steal a pack of cards so I could play a game. My mother made me give it back and perhaps that was the only time I went to bed hungry.
As retirement age draws nearer, I really do worry about my retirement funds not being worth enough to support me and my wife. What if we can’t afford to travel? What if we can’t afford beer, or pie? Seriously, what if were homeless? That would be scary, I possess no skills or experience for that. Where would I get training?
I am truly concerned about the poor and I contribute money, clothes and food to homeless shelters and food pantries. I admit that I do it partly because I hope it creates good karma that will return to help me if I’m ever on the streets.
I am also ashamed to admit that I always am a little amused whenever anyone states they he or she is a “homeless advocate.” I can’t help but think that they advocate homelessness because if it ever was wiped out, they would have no job and perhaps be, well, homeless. (Note to Bill: how can “advocate” be a noun and “advocate” be a verb and why are they pronounced differently and how does one know which is which?)
Finally, the Blog Action website suggests that I might donate the day's proceeds from this blog to the cause of poverty. Trust me, this blog is dedicated to being impoverished (you might say it’s a poor blog) and the Blog Action people can have all the money I make today on this site.
UPDATE: So, the Blog Action people called and said, "Seriously? This is your blog about poverty? Making jokes about homeless advocates?
And I said, "Well, I always make a joke of everything. I really did intend to promote poverty..."
"We're trying END poverty."
"Uh, yeah, that's what I meant, promote ending poverty. I advocate that."
"And you didn't even make a joke about 'homeless advocates' being advocates who are homeless!"
"Oh, yeah, uh, sorry I missed that one."
(At this point, the person began giggling uncontrollably and I hung up.)
So everyone please have some compassion for your fellow men and women. Fight against hunger , homelessness and poverty. Seriously.


Cali said...

Perhaps the usage of the word "advocate" depends on the word that precedes it. (I was going to say it depends on whether it's the subject or the object, but I don't think that's it.)

Also, thanks for your comments.

JohnnyB said...

You advocate that it's meaning is determined by context.

And thank you back. I enjoyed your blog entry.

Bill Brohaugh said...

Damn. You keep giving me homework. You're like my 8th-grade teacher, without the adolescent-inciting curves. I don't know the answer about pronunciation, and I'm too lazy to give it extensive study at the moment. I'm a word-history guy, remember, one generally distracted by lustful memories of my 8th-grade teacher. That said, consider some other examples of noun/verb pronunciations. You proGRESS, but make PROGress. You comPACT something into a COMpact. You screw UP, but you are a SCREWup. And I mean that from the heart.

JohnnyB said...

Nicely done, sir. You made me laugh and you neatly diverted the question into a nifty attack on me - you sound like a McCainiac.

Anonymous said...

You're such a card!
Now go put it back.