Monday, November 10, 2008

Come Fly With Me

Growing up, I was taught to give up my seat on public transportation to the aged, infirm, pregnant, female or anyone else in greater need of the seat than I (females were frail and weak back then). Now, when I travel by air, request an exit row or other seat with legroom and learn that they are all taken, I find upon boarding the plane that they are taken by average bodied able people. Do these people look at me, leap up and say, "oh, here, your aged, long legs need this seat more than I"? They do not.
Delta is the main tenant of our airport so I may get a better shot at the good seats now that they may be charging extra for it. (Even more appealing is the possibility of new seats that will be comfortable even for tall people).
I understand the charges for baggage (extra weight means extra fuel cost) and food (if you don't eat, it saves money)and even choice seating (supply and demand). But here are a few charges I want to impose:
You want to recline your seat into my knees, or even further, into my face? Give me $20. I paid for the seat and I figure that includes the airspace as well.
If you stick your carry on into the bin above my seat, that's $15 to me, buddy. Since I always get an aisle seat, I am one of the last to board when Delta loads by "zones", but I expect my bin to be empty. There is no room under the seat in front of me - that's for my feet.
Likewise, since I'm in the aisle seat, if you are in the middle or window seat, I'll let you out to go to the restroom for $5 - okay, first trip is free, but after that.... oh, and if you are a terrorist who needs out to hatch your terror scheme, I want $50 - American!
Finally, it will cost the flight attendants $10 each time they hit my elbow or knee with the damn food/drink cart. Plus a free alcoholic beverage for the pain.
It is quite possible my premium seat fee, if not my entire ticket cost, will get paid for by the time I reach my destination.

(Scroll down two posts and enter the annoying contest - only a few days left).


Jenny said...

I am sure I am not nearly as tall as you, but I am tall and I do hate being crammed into airline seats. How freeing it is to stretch my legs once I get off the flight!!

JohnnyB said...

Come the landing, when this flight is over,
I'll feel my legs
When I stand, the blood will flow once more and
I'll feel me legs

Susan said...

It doesn't seem like the reaction counters stick. I clicked funny this morning and when I came back just now, it still says (0) next to funny even though it had updated to (1) when I orginally clicked it. Bad counter!

Susan said...

Never mind. Now it seems to have stuck. I'll have to try clicking some other posts. Write something funny again! :-)