Tuesday, April 27, 2010

All They Will Call Them Will Be Deportees

Arizona’s Legislature passed a Bill making it illegal to look like an illegal immigrant. The Governor proudly signed the bill into law, confidently declaring, “I have no idea what an illegal immigrant looks like”, but I’m safe, so who gives a crap?

One man alleges that he is an innocent victim of profiling under this new law. He claims he was arrested for having only a valid driver’s license and social security number and not carrying his birth certificate, white skin and English-sounding name with him.

President Barack Obama traveled to Arizona this morning to see what the commotion was all about. Upon landing at John Birch National-Socialist Airport, Obama was detained by authorities who demanded that he prove his citizenship. Obama happened to be carrying his birth certificate and stated, “I thought everyone in America had ordered one of these from Hawaii by now.” Arizona officials averted their eyes and stuffed their hands in their pockets, refusing to touch or even look at Obama’s birth certificate, saying there was no proof it was real.

When news of the legal struggle brewing over President’s arrest and imminent deportation got out, Arizona citizens was outraged. “We can’t have this much time spent on each and every obvious case of an illegal immigrant infiltrating our country,” one demonstrator shouted to the crowd. “Our police force, under funded because of the Liberal Communists who ruined the economy, can’t be expected to find every one of those bastards. We have our guns; let’s go out ourselves and find those people in their homes and places of work and round ‘em up. Some of them might be legal, but we’ll sort that out later.”

Governor Brewer vowed to step in at that point and have the state build camps to house the suspected Mexicans and A-rabs. She immediately hopped into her pickup truck and started cruising the streets of Phoenix, picking up men willing to work cheap to get the camps built.

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