Thursday, August 19, 2010

Today's the Day the Stoner Bears Have Their Pic-a-nic

"BC police: Bears surrounded pot fields"
Police who uncovered two marijuana fields near the U.S.-Canada border had to tread carefully: 13 black bears were wandering around the crops.

The economy has reduced the number of vacationers visiting Canada, resulting in a shortage of pic-a-nic baskets. The native black bears, unable to secure legitimate employment, have turned to guarding pot fields to earn money.

Some bears have fallen to using the marijuana themselves, with the expected unfortunate results, ending in indolent, unproductive lives. The life of one such bear was documented by researchers:
Yogi Bear’s a stoner and a slackerish bear,
Yogi Bear has munchies and a vacant stare
Where you stash your snack food you will find him there
Stuffing down more goodies than the average bear.

He will sleep till noon but before it's dark,
He'll smoke every ounce of weed that is in Jellystone Park.

Yogi Bear is cooler than a polar bear
But can’t escape the rangers, ‘cause his mind is impaired.

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