We Go To The Mattresses!

What's new in school fundraising?

Selling mattresses. Really.
A flyer went up at work today for a school selling mattresses to raise funds for the soccer team. And this is a deal being offered all over the country now.

This is great. No longer do the schools have to deal with wads of crumpled, nasty $1 bills from kids selling thousands of chocolate bars. No longer will there be confusing sheets of orders for overpriced tins of cookies or specialty candies. No longer will they lose vast portions of the funds raised buying cheap prizes for kids who participated.

Now one or two parents manage to sell a few mattresses and we're all set. The only thing to worry about is the risk of getting arrested when we steal the truckload of mattresses on its way to Target. then we make you an offer you can't refuse.

Tom Hagen: What did he say?
Sonny: What did he say,? "Badda-beep, badda-boop, badda-boop, badda-beep", he wants us to send Michael to sell chocolate and the promise is it’s “The World’s Finest”: so good people can't refuse. Ha.
Tom Hagen: What about Sally Foster?
Sonny: Ah, that's all over done. Candy and wrapping paper were sold by my father.
Tom Hagen: We ought to hear what they have to say, Sonny.
Sonny: No, no, no, not this time, Committee Chairperson. No more chocolates, no more wrapping paper, no more fund raising tricks. You give them a message from me. I want soccer money. And it’s not candy door-to-door. We go to the mattresses.