Saturday, May 17, 2008

Pea Brain From West VA

Barack Obama was trounced in West Virginia because some white voters hate Muslims, some white voters fear black people and some white voters distust anyone named Hussein.
(Funny thing: Hillary Clinton has not been called upon to denounce or repudiate the views of her supporters.)
Back when Nixon was President Merle Haggard recorded a song about the righteousness of not being a peace-living, pot-smoking, liberal-ass hippie, called "Okie From Muskogee." Later Kinky Friedman did a parody of it called "Asshole From El Paso." I will borrow the lyrics to render my thoughts on the under-educated, hard working, white voters of West Virginia.

We don’t open minds up in West V A
We don’t think out thoughts, we just believe
We don’t find antebellum ideas passe
We like bein’ white, and real na├»ve

I’m proud to be a pea brain from West V A
A place where evolution takes a fall
We all keep our gene pools in the fam’ly
And white people’s still the bestest race of all

We know that Obama is a Muslim
His middle name’s Hussein, it must be true
He takes his oath of office on the Ko-ran
And hates us like all them kind of people do

I’m proud to be a pea brain from West V A
A place where evolution takes a fall
We all keep our gene pools in the fam’ly
And white people’s still the bestest race of all

Flag pins on one’s label prove you’re Amurican
A turban on your head would be obscene
We prefer white hoods as fashion statements
Deliverance is the best flick ever screened

We still paint the stars and bars on the outhouse
In good old West Virginia, U S A

I realize that not everyone in West VA is sitting in a backwoods shack droolin' to the sound of dueling banjos. The song is directed at ignorant racists everywhere: the ones I knew in California, and the ones I know in Ohio and - soon to take the national racist spotlight from West VA - Kentucky.

2 comments:

Susan said...

I like your new blog! And it is funny but not remarkable that your favorite movies are also my favs!

JohnnyB said...

Thanks! However I just changed the movie preferences (not because of your comment) so people shouldn't think that the ones there now are your favorites.