Thursday, June 12, 2008

Keep Off the Grass

Study: Marijuana potency reaches 30-year high in 2007" Heh,heh: 30-year high, get it? John Walters, director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy said, "Today's report makes it more important than ever that we get past outdated, anachronistic views of marijuana." Would that be the anachronistic views expressed in Refer Madness, that marijuana would lead to "shocking acts of violence and incurable insanity"? Or the anachronistic views of the 70's they tried to sell us - that we'd all become heroin addicts? In high school, in 1972, we saw an anti-marijuana message featuring Sonny and Cher, because naturally we all found them incredibly cool role models. We laughed at these messages - ah, probably we were stoned.
If there is an anachronistic view of marijuana that we would pass on to our children when we learn that their pot is more potent than ours was, it is this:
"Son, back in my day, we had it tough. The dope wasn't like it is nowadays. We had to toke a lot harder and a lot longer to get high. And we had to cut little circles out of our window screens to put in the bowl of the bong. Flies would get in the house and shit, but we sorta got fascinated, just watching them buzz round and round and buzz while we were getting buzzed, that was so cool, they're buzzing and we're buzzing, and bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........We had to walk miles barefoot to get to the store for chocolate chip cookies and Doritos, and they didn't have the sour cream and onion kind then. But we would find this one Dorito that was a perfect triangle and then just stare at it and, like, dude, it is SO triangular...... triiianguuulaaar. That word is weird. So, what I was saying, the only advantage we had was that album covers were a lot bigger - good space for cleaning seeds and stems out of your dope. No way you can use these damn tiny CD jewel boxes. I can't even see the seeds anymore without my glasses. And what're you gonna do with an iPod? The downer was that one side of a vinyl album is only 20 minutes and we had to get up and turn the f'ing record over all the time. Though sometimes it was kind of hypnotizing hearing the needle at the end of the track...skzzzzzzz..chi-clunk..skzzzzz..chi-clunk..skzzzz.......where was I?"

Potent marijuana = Puritan jam at one
Late for the sky = Fatherly tokes

1 comment:

Ancient Clown said...


Here's my riddle of the day?(just thought of it today)
Q: What sort of insect never bothers homeless people?
A: Houseflies.

your humble servant,
ancient clown