Saturday, July 26, 2008

Morning Fail

I woke up this morning, went outside to my garden and picked two jalapenos, a serrano and a few tomatoes. I washed the vegetables, washed my hands. I went back out and played with the neighbors dog that we are pet-sitting. I washed my hands. I roasted the peppers and chopped the tomatoes and some onion. I washed my hands. I peeled and chopped the peppers and washed my hands. I combined the chopped ingredients in a bowl, added salt, pepper and lime juice and washed my hands. I took the rest of my limes and made lime ade. I washed my hands. I went into the bathroom, washed my hands, brushed my teeth, washed my hands and put my contacts in.
Find the mistake in the preceding paragraph. Would you say
  1. You wrote "serrano" peppers when it should have been "cerano"
  2. Both "woke up this morning" and "went outside to my garden" contain redundancies and too many extra, superfluous words
  3. You left the cilantro and garlic out of the salsa
  4. You forgot to take your medicine to treat your OCD hand washing problem
  5. You left the gin (or tequila) out of the lime ade
  6. You used tomatoes and peppers which have been linked to salmonella
  7. Peppers and tomatoes are the fruits of their plants, not vegetables.
  8. You put your contacts in after handling peppers and limes instead of before.

If you answered
  1. Wrong - even if I made a mistake, I wrote what I meant
  2. You are reading the wrong blog. You meant to go here.
  3. No, cilantro tastes like soap and garlic muddies the fresh taste of the vegetables
  4. Wrong only because the voices have stopped me from getting diagnosed and getting the prescriptions yet
  5. No, the booze is added later
  6. Are you blond? I grew my own ingredients to protect my family from the terrorists attacking our salsa supply.
  7. Shut up, you pedantic imbecile. The food category "vegetables" includes fruits such as cucumber, tomato etc.
  8. This would be my answer. Having washed my hands, the residue on my finger made my eyes burn slightly less than if I had applied the peppers and limes directly to me eyes.

Stick in your eyes and vote for my entries.


Susan said...

Touched the dog, touched the dog!

I knew the answer before you asked the question, having done the same.


Anonymous said...

So I think the photo was a hint. I bet you didn't recite the blessing all eight times you washed your hands. Then your eyes burned when you put in your contacts. Hmmm...


JohnnyB said...

I didn't even make the connection when I added the picture. You are probably right!
(Anyone who can't read the picture: click it to enlarge)