Wednesday, August 6, 2008

What if God Were Two of Us?

If God had a name, what would it be?
Would she be a he or he be a she?
Rabbi Mark Sameth says that if you read the Torah backwards, it reveals that God has a dual gender. I found this hard to comprehend because the only way to read the Torah is backwards; it's written right to left.
What he's actually saying is that the Hebrew name for God, when read in reverse, makes the sounds of the Hebrew words for "he" and "she." He contends that it is intentional and that it is just one of many secrets in the Torah. "Jewish mystical traditions have long found levels of meaning in the Hebrew Bible beyond those that come from a literal or metaphorical reading." For example, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth", read backwards becomes, "Htrae eht dna snevaeh eht detaerc Dog gninnigeb eht ni." No, it actually says "Paul is fercockt".
Clearly Rabbi Sameth is on to something that could change the world: a Jewish "Da Vinci Code." Only it couldn't be Da Vinci - too goyisha. It would be the "Chagal Code."
But who would be the lead actors? Who is the Jewish Tom Hanks? Adam Sandler?
No, I'm not suggesting him for the role, I'm asking him for some Jewish actor names. "Paul Newman's half Jewish ... Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish..." Thank you, Adam; two fine actors but not even one whole Jew yet. I'm going for either Jake Gyllenhaal or Seth Rogen. Now we need the hot female who is also strong and independent. There's Jamie Lynn Sigler or Scarlett Johansson. No, wait, I think I've got the perfect pair: Daniel Radcliff and Amanda Bynes! They are two great actors, if it's backwards day.

Read backwards stuff at Humor-Blogs.com and vote for my entries.

4 comments:

Bill Brohaugh said...

Has Rabbi Sameth considered these readings of various religious text?

ɥɐɹoʇ ǝɥʇ

oh, and this . . .

ʍou uı ǝɹ,ǝʍ ssǝɯ ǝɥʇ uı ǝɹ,ǝʍ ʍoɥ sı ɥɔıɥʍ 'uʍop ǝpısdn llɐ ʇı pǝuɹnʇ ǝɥ 'ʎɐp ɥʇ7 ǝɥʇ uo puɐ 'ɥʇɹɐǝ ǝɥʇ puɐ suǝʌɐǝɥ ǝɥʇ pǝʇɐǝɹɔ poƃ 'ƃuıuuıƃǝq ǝɥʇ uı

JohnnyB said...

Bill
That discovery will turn religion on its head!

Schottzie03 said...

The lead in the movie would definitely be Mel Gibson.

He would also find that reading the name "Ruth" in reverse makes the sound of the ancient Hebrew word for "sugartits"

unfinishedrambling said...

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