He's Not Getting Better, He's Getting Older

MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
MEDIA: Here's one -- nine pence.
JOHN MCCAIN: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
MEDIA: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
JOHN MCCAIN: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
MEDIA: Yes, he is.
JOHN MCCAIN: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
MEDIA: Well, he will be soon, he's been very ill. He’ll die and Sarah
Palin will be President. Then we’ll all be dead.
JOHN MCCAIN: I'm getting better!
MEDIA: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
JOHN MCCAIN: I don't want to go the way Bob Dole did!
MEDIA: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
JOHN MCCAIN: I feel fine! It’s my turn to be President.
MEDIA: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
MEDIA: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't
be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine
today.
MEDIA: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
JOHN MCCAIN: Karl Rove promised me I’d win!
MEDIA: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
JOHN MCCAIN: I feel happy... the fundamentals of the economy are sound..
MORTICIAN STRIKES McCAIN WITH A HAMMER [whop]
MEDIA: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you in November.
MEDIA: Right.
[clop clop]