I Love LA

My vacation in California is over but I will savor the memories of another week in that land of crazy people. I saw, or, actually, smelled the hotel manager and desk clerk smoking marijuana in a room behind the front desk. I saw a bride in a full length, traditional wedding dress traipse across a hundred yards of beach to stand with her tuxedoed husband in wet sand having their picture taken. I saw a store called "Grant's for Guns", with crudely painted pictures of handguns on the exterior and a large sign saying, "Great Halloween Ideas" (I imagined a suggestion that starts with the question, "Are you tired of gaggles of costumed trick-or-treaters on your doorstep? Well....."). I saw a man get a ticket for riding his bike on the Redondo Beach pier where there are no fewer than ten signs imploring him to "Walk Your Bike In This Area". No doubt bike walking will be the subject of a proposition in the next election there.
California governs by propositions. I don't know how many there are on the ballot this year but there are numbered ones and lettered ones that go as far as "Proposition DD", leading me to believe there are at least 30 lettered ones. The one getting national attention - and national contributions - is Prop 8 which seeks to ban same-sex marriage in California.
One of the arguments used to promote the proposition is that, if same-sex marriage is allowed, any church which refuses to perform such a marriage will be sued by the gays. And they'll win because of the liberal (i.e. immoral) judiciary, you betcha. Just like all those lawsuits against clergy for refusing to perform legal interfaith marriages and those lawsuits against the Catholic Church for refusing to recognize legal divorces.
The most compelling argument for legally forbidding same-sex marriage is that God intended marriage to be between a man and a woman for the purpose of procreating (Proposition 9 on California's ballot is the Pro Creating Amendment). Yes, clearly allowing gays to marry will undermine this purpose and cause heterosexuals to stop having children. Or, wait, is it that denying gays the right to marry will force them into heterosexual unions, producing children like "normal" people? Either way, it is a clearly logical point.
Following on this lead, I am proposing an amendment to the Constitution to ban sex outside of marriage, masturbation, contraception and childless marriages, all of which controvert God's will that marriage and sex are intended for procreation, not random, hedonistic pleasure and any variation hinders my ability to have a real marriage.
They must be stopped at all costs. We must get funds from throughout the nation and we need passionate volunteers. To heck with spending money, time and energy fighting poverty, or helping people find jobs or get medical care. Forget being passionate about helping people - let's direct all that toward stopping people from being happy because their happiness makes us itchy and cranky.
I feel sorry for that poor couple I saw on the beach, having their wedding degraded by knowing that somewhere in California, two homosexuals are getting married at the same time. It will probably render them unable to consummate their marriage and have babies.