Tuesday, October 21, 2008

In The Jailhouse Now

In Blue Ash, Ohio, an 89-year-old grandma was arrested for not giving some kids a football back after it landed in her yard. I live in Blue Ash, Ohio, which is a suburb of Cincinnati. I don't know these people but I have fewer than 6 degrees of separation.
The football incident was a culmination of an ongoing dispute - Grandma Jester has warned the boys that they will lose their balls if she gets ahold of them. The woman has confiscated 3 or 10 of the kids' balls, depending on who you ask.
It was one of the dads who called the police. Is that really the lesson he wants to teach his children? If little Jimmy came to me and said "Mrs' Jester took my football and won't give it back," I would say, "Did she tell you not to let it land in her yard?" "Yeah, but..." "Did she tell you that she would keep it if it did?" "Yeah, but..." "Yeah, but I'm sorry, it's your own fault." Bitter old people keeping kids balls that go in their yard is an American Tradition. It's part of the fabric of our great society. "Mr., can we have our ball back," is the dialog of Americana. If we lock up Crotchety Old Ball Keeper, we are no better than godless communists. Hopefully those boys are sleeping uneasily tonight, with visions of a bitter old grandma coming after them in the dark to grab their balls and never let go.

4 comments:

Bill Brohaugh said...

Fact: Blue Ash is a Cincinnati suburb.

Fact: Cincinnati is the home of the "pro" football Bengals, known in some circles because of player indiscretions as "Jailhouse Rock."

Fact: Blue Ash grandma was arrested for her crime.

Fact: Blue Ash grandma has more fumble recoveries than all the Bengals combined.

Fact: Blue Ash grandma is now in the Bengal starting lineup.

Anonymous said...

John, see if you can find Wednesday's article online. I just read it and it makes a lot more sense of what actually happened, I think.

Karen

Anonymous said...

Oh wait, it was Thursday's, sorry!

Jenny said...

"Grandma Jester has warned the boys that they will lose their balls..." LOL