Monday, January 5, 2009

I Can't Swallow It

I am sure I am late with this riff, but I hope that. like me. you have not read other criticisms of Burger King's "Whopper Virgin" commercials, so that my comments seem fresh, never frozen. The premise is that Burger King prepares Whoppers and McDonald's Big Macs for some Fourth World people who have never sen a hamburger and ask which they prefer. If people in remote sections of Norway or Minnesota, who live on lutefisk, prefer a Whopper, don't you have to assume it is because the Whopper tastes most like dried fish soaked in lye? In someplace like Darfur, wouldn't, "Well, sir, my palate is attuned to a diet consisting primarily of dirt washed down with my own urine, so the Whopper tastes very, very familiar to me," be the likely response? I have eaten a Whopper and I haven't gone back. Why would the opinion of some communist in Romania change my mind?
PizzaHut has the opposite approach. Unfortunately their commercial is not on YouTube or any other video site I can find, but what they have just introduced is their "Natural Pizza". It features real tomatoes and real cheese and the tag on the commercial (now I'm going to have to wait to see it again to confirm) is something like "real pizza taste. Every time I see this commercial I can't help but think they are saying, "compared to the crap we've been selling you for years, this is actual food with actual flavor."
Somehow PizzaHut's honest comparison of their new product to their own inferior product makes me want to try theirs more than I want to try a Whopper.
By the way, blog vigins in Thailand who had no idea what a blog is and don't read English were shown my blog and Dooce and preferred the taste of my blog.

Please go to Humorbloggers and rate my blog with lots of stars and write a review if you wish.


Anonymous said...

I'm with you on Pizza Hut that anything they can do to their pizza (their food, period) is an improvement and I haven't seen the commercials (the joys of no cable or satellite!), so it didn't ruin it for me.

But if you're late, hey, that's part of your name, right?

JohnnyB said...

No cable or satellite? How do you keep up with important cultural stuff like "The Hills" or VH1's "I Love March 2003, Except for That One Day."

ettarose said...

Hi Johnny. Not too bad. I have enjoyed most of your posts (not really into ass kissing this early in the game. I def see potential. Now what the hell did that mean? Who knows but I will be back to harass you more. By the way, the Whopper commercial and those poor people that would rather die than eat a cow? It offends me greatly. When you get to know me better(and you will) you will understand. Holy crap! Would you look at the word I now have to write to prove I am breathing? ingobble Bwahahahaha

JohnnyB said...

ettarose - thanks for the comments - glad you enjoyed "most" of my posts. Now I'll always wonder which ones you didn't ;-)

Please stop back and read more potentially great stuff.