When I entered my caption, my biggest concern was that it was so obvious that many people would have already submitted the same idea and I was too late. So this morning I checked to see who had gotten in first and was sure to be the winner.
The three captions you selected are:
"Free will is overrated."The third one has a nice, subtle reference to the difficulty of managing one's own puppet strings and the second one is a nice tribute to the recent murders of Craigslist prostitutes. The first one is weak allusion to the control aspect of the situation.
"This was so much more awkward before Craigslist."
"This is why I suggested a threesome."
Do you remember which one is mine? Right, none of them. I wrote, "Please, dear, try to control yourself." I'm not going to try and explain how that works on a couple different levels. I leave it to you to ponder its New Yorker style perfection and to regret your choices. I know it is too late to reconsider and that you can't just pull a few strings and change the decision.