Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sing a Wrong Song

I grew up in L.A. and never went to a summer camp. We had to make do. For crafts, our parents (or step-parents or parent's life partners) would have the immigrant gardener or maid make us some turquoise jewelry or hand-woven baskets.

In place of ghost stories, we would sit in a circle late at night and describe plastic surgery disasters. (WARNING: I didn't link to any of those pages directly because I still have nightmares about some of them).

Instead of singing around the campfire we would gather in Laurel Canyon during brush fire season and sing with Joni Mitchell and all them, while the caterer toasted chocolate truffle s’mores served on organic graham biscuits, infused with Acapulco gold.

So, since I don't really know the Music Day at summer camp drill, for my fellow humor bloggers sitting around the flickering computer screen, I offer some examples of the songs I have recently stolen from actual writers.

What would summer camp be without hot dogs?

Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs
What kind of kids eat Armour hot dogs
Fat kids, sickly kids
Vegans have an answer:
Poor-ly - nourished kids
Kids with colo-rectal cancer
Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs
The dogs we warned about!

Sarah Palin is taking Summer vacation seriously - by quitting altogether:

Take this job and shove it, I don’t wanna work no more
Sarah Palin done quit and gave me the reason I was looking for
Don’t wanna just be collectin’ my pay
You’re the one I’m doin’ this for
Take this job and shove it, I don’t wanna work no more"

This summer we may be seeing a comeback from this long winter of our discontent:

What have you done my stockbroking son?
And what did you do with my retirement fund?
I sold mortgage-backed securities without regulation
I crippled the credit of large corporations
I ruined economies of world power nations
I stumbled on the slide of inflated earnings
I pumped up the bubble until it was bursting
And it’s the Dow, it’s the Dow, it’s the Dow, it’s the Dow
And it’s the Dow Jones a-gonna fall

It's about time to bunk down, so I leave you with this:

Deep down in Cincinnati where the boy has been
Since he moved to the Midwest from the L. A. scene -
What jerk would choose Ohio over Hollywood?
Just a "special" kind of dork named "JohnnyB" could
He never ever learned to really write so well
And for ripping off songs, he is going to Hell
Go! Go .... go, already!


Anonymous said...

Dang! I just finished a hot dog and now?

I'm gonna stick my finger down my throat!

Thanks Dude! Really!

heh heh heh

Fun post.

Anonymous said...

LOL! I love the songs!

nonamedufus said...

I'm a Dylan fan. Your parody was priceless. Nicely done Johnny B.

JohnnyB said...

Quirky, glad you liked the post, but don't spew on my blog!!

Thinkin' - thank you!

Noname - Doesn't everybody love Dylan? It may sound weird but he writes such good lyrics that parodying them is easier somehow.

ettarose said...

Well done! I too love Dylan. I have to remember these lyrics so I can amaze my friends, well, friend.