Hold the Figgy Pudding

You can pretty much peg the date just by looking in our office kitchen. Right after Thanksgiving the trays, boxes and bins of sweets, cookies and nuts start getting delivered by clients and vendors. People are starting to make goodies at home and bringing in the practice batches or the cookies from the cookie exchange that they didn’t like.

Yesterday at 7:30 a.m. there was a tray of nearly 50 cupcakes and a big plate of cookies put out on the table. At 11:30 one third of them remained untouched. And that’s how you know it’s about 10 days until Christmas. We’ve had nearly three weeks of this stuff and we just can’t take much more.

Any other time of the year, a tray of cupcakes would be gone before the person who brought them could hit “send” for the mass email announcing their arrival. Now those emails are treated like spam, deleted without opening or blocked if the subject line includes “holiday treats in the kitchen”. As rapidly as we are expanding our own personal inner storage spaces, we still can’t keep up with the suppliers’ delivery schedules.

I have a worse problem because I ate three pounds of latkes a couple nights ago and I’m still recovering.

Doesn’t anybody give booze anymore?

It’s the most unhealthful time of the year
With our bellies all swelling
And everyone telling you "Cookies are here"
It's the most unhealthful time of the year
It's the crap-happiest season of all:
With junk food at our meetings and so much we’re eating
That we can’t recall
It's the crap-happiest season of all