He Should Have Had a Strap-On

"Shoppers recall silence, fear in Lynnwood Lowe's store when man shot himself in testicles."

Good headline.

"For a few seconds, there was total silence at Lowe's Home Improvement in Lynnwood just after the gunshot went off at 12:30 on Sunday afternoon. 'It was dead quiet,' remembers Jim Fischer, who happened to be at the checkout line with his wife, Kim. They're doing a bathroom remodel." Essential information to set the scene.

"Kim Fischer will remember that after deciding there wasn't a random shooter in the store, 'nobody got panicky.'

"What Michael McDougall, of Snohomish ... will remember also is that initial moment of fear. 'Initially I thought it was maybe gang-related. I was afraid for my wife and daughter, and I thought, 'I think we should be leaving.' ' he says.

"And he remembers the initial scream, 'Oh, my God, I shot myself in the groin!'

So, how long was this period of fear and thoughts of possibly leaving ("hmmm, could be a gunfight, but I just drove all the way here and paint is on sale just today, so ...") before that guy screamed and everyone knew it was just a another funny epic FAIL story?

But that's not what really bothers me. Why do people carry around guns in the waistband of sweatpants? Especially after Plaxico Burress made it abundantly clear how stupid that is.

If only they made some kind of pouch thing, like you put your cell phone in, to strap the gun into.

Now it makes sense to me why guys wear their pants with the waisteband down below their butts. Keeps the jewels safer.

And if guns are kept in the waistband, you sure can't blame this cop for his mistake.