Friday, January 7, 2011

Fish Gotta Swim, Birds Gotta Fly - Or Not

Mass bird deaths are quite common; so say the officials trying to protect us from the reality that Doomsday is upon us next year. Fish kills are everyday phenomena, they assure us, as they privately make peace with their gods. Ohio State defeating an SEC team in a college bowl game is not a sign of the Apocalypse, we are promised.

Come on, be honest with us. If it’s the Rapture coming, they should tell us. Those of us who are pure at heart and without sin will be going to a better place. The rest of you, well, just wait around and you can have all our stuff when we’re gone. The point is, no one should panic.

The whole thing is fascinating and, while I don’t believe in the supernatural, I have to tell you that Karen Carpenter appeared to me in a dream and sang this song:

Why do birds
Fall down from the sky?
Are we all – going to die?
Could it be
We’re ‘bout to see
The End of Days?

Why are fish
Dieing in the sea?
Is this from – Prophecy?
Could it be
We’re ‘bout to see
The End of Days?

In Oaxaca, Mexico
The Mayan calendar foretells, some portents
That just might be coming true
It cycles every 20 years
And ends December twelve, two-oh-one-two

That is why all the birds fell down
The world is in, it’s final round
Just might be
We’re ‘bout to see
The End of Days.

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