Shaking Things Up

People in California today participated in the largest disaster drill ever. The massive mock drill tested preparedness for the consequences that would befall the state if Proposition 8 were overturned. At the sound of warning sirens, couples simulated the breakdown of their traditional marriages and staged sham divorces. Some smeared themselves with acrimony and disgust such as might be spread throughout the state if gays were to join in real matrimony.
In schools, teachers scrambled to distribute materials to instruct students in tolerance, promote rejection of the bible and demonstrate the benefits of homosexuality.
State police rushed to churches, synagogues and mosques to point unloaded guns at clergy and simulate forced performance of nuptials for same sex couples.
State officials addressed the people, saying that an actual crisis was unlikely but that they were proud of the readiness displayed in today's drill.