If I Only Had a Brain

"Americans are as likely to believe in flying saucers as in evolution. Depending on how the questions are asked, roughly 30 to 40 percent of Americans believe in each."

Once again, Todd Snider has a relevant lyric:

"They say 3 percent of the people use 5 to 6 percent of their brain
97 percent use 3 percent and the rest goes down the drain
I'll never know which one I am but I'll bet you my last dime
99 percent think we're 3 percent 100 percent of the time"

A Shameless Plug For a Friend

When we lived in LA, our friend David came to live with us for a while. My wife had met David at IU. He was originally from Dayton, Ohio and left there for LA to try and get into show business. I told him I thought that Southern Ohio was an entertainment Mecca and a comedy gold mine. To prove it, my wife and I moved to Cincinnati, leaving David on his own. In some cosmic rebalancing of the universe, we had traded places and I ended up gaining fame and fortune writing short humor pieces for a radio star in Cincinnati. David struggled along writing music for the “Young and the Restless” (for which he won an Emmy) and eventually writing for some sitcoms. Now David has resorted to writing a book. Because I feel sorry for him and somewhat responsible for his plight, living in California, writing and producing sitcoms, I want to help promote his book. Besides, he begged me to do it, knowing that my vast readership of 3 or possibly 5 humans would respond. So go here and check out his book.

A Parachute and a Few Hundred Dollars Were All That They Ever Found

Looks like Todd was a little early (song from 1994) in calling the parachute find.
Will they ever see old D. B. Cooper again?

In "You've Got Mail", Joe Fox says "The Godfather answers all of life's questions. What should I pack for my summer vacation? 'Leave the gun, take the cannoli.'"
I believe Todd Snider has a lyric for almost all situations.
Dr. Suess covers the rest.

Perhaps GermLatin

I like this Dunkin' Donuts commercial. The tune is catchy, the words are clever. Yeah, those 'Fritalian' words are annoying - We're Americans (from the Italian, Amerigo Vespucci), damn it! We want to order in English, like that guy out there drinking an all-American Dunkin' Donuts LATTE.
Seriously, did they think that through? Right up until there, the commercial has me believing that Dunkin' Doughnuts is more American than Seattle-based Starbucks. Then I see that DD Latte and I remember my biggest complaint about Starbucks speak is not the Fritalian "Venti" or "Grande", it's their twisting of the English word, "tall", to refer to their smallest size.
Side Note: Once again, DD is distancing themselves from the doughnut basis of their business.
Side Note 2: If you pause the commercial and read the menu, you will see that one of the items is "Himan Plu Cento". Gross.