Friday, April 17, 2009

Night of the Loving Dead

"’Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,’ … recounts the struggle of Elizabeth Bennet and her sisters to simultaneously annihilate the undead invading their idyllic community and to marry well.

Jane Austen was a great writer and witty besides, so I would read her books without zombies, but, really. wouldn’t any story just be more fun with zombies? I liked the movie versions of Pride and Prejudice but I can see where zombies would be just the thing to turn a chick flick into a date movie, attracting more guys to share it with their girls. For example, I will never be found watching “Sex and the City”, but I would watch “Sex and the City and Zombies”, though those women have even more trouble keeping their clothes on than your average zombies draped in rotting funeral garments.

There are a lot of films considered chick flicks that I like but wouldn’t mind seeing these revisions:
“You’ve Got Mail and Zombies” (where Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly are both zombies but don’t know the other one is and so are embarrassed to meet) , “My Best Friend’s Zombie Wedding” (where the Zombie’s sing “I say a little prayer for you – we call it ‘grace’ before the meal”), “Kramer vs. Kramer vs. Zombies”, “Four Weddings, and a Funeral and the Undead”, “Sleepless and Walking Dead in Seattle” , “When Harry Met Sally and the Zombies”.

Then there are the girl movies I saw but wouldn’t see again unless there were flesh eating creatures from the grave thrown in: “Thelma and Louise and the Zombies”, “Bridget Jones’s Undead Diary”, “Fried Green Tomato Zombies”, and (adding undead and a a comma) “Dirty, Dancing Zombies” (“Nobody devours Baby in a corner!”)

Movies I have no desire to see unless the main characters are devoured by zombies: “”Waiting to Exhale and Exhume”, “Zombie Beaches” (careful with pronunciation), “The Undead English Patient”, “An Affair to Dismember”, and “Remains of the Day” (which retains its original title but is now set in a restaurant owned by flesh-eating zombies).

Put your chick zombie flick ideas in the comments.


Andy said...

I'd sit through Gone with the Specter. And although it's only a TV series, I'd also watch Grey's Decomposing Anatomy.

Anonymous said...

Hey Johnny, this is Cali's mom. I hope you don't mind that I read your blog occasionally... I find it very entertaining. You're a great writer.

I enjoy your posts and I'd have to say that this is a good one. My husband would totally be there for all these movies!

Break out the popcorn...

JohnnyB said...

Andy, good suggestions - in fact "Grey's Anatomy" brought back a deceased character from the grave - but turned out he was just a manifestation of a brain tumor. How much more fun it would have been if Denny turned Izzy into his zombie bride.

Barb - I am delighted that you read my blog. I very much appreciate your compliments. When these movies come out, you and Ray bring the popcorn and we'll bring the chocolate goodies.

JohnnyB said...

that would be chocolate-covered rotting flesh."

Anonymous said...

I loved "Remains of the Day"! I mean the unvarnished title; don't think we saw the movie.


Shawn said...

I sat through the 97 hour long BBC presentation of Pride and Prejudice. I would have welcomed death by zombie at any point.

JohnnyB said... resist...horrible...stupid joke....about name... "Shawn of the Dead".